From Justin to Kelly

Justin and Kelly head to Miami with their respective posses to have the craziest Spring Break of their lives. And, boy, do things get wild and crazy in Miami. Beach goers burst into choreographed song and dance numbers. Justin’s homie ventures to meet up with a girl he just met on the Internet. One of Kelly’s friends even dates a – gasp – busboy! At the heart of all this spring break debauchery, is a love-at-first-sight romance between a player from Phili, “Justin” and a sweet waitress from Texas, “Kelly.” Despite their strong attraction? to each other, bad pop songs, a jealous friend, a wet t-shirt contest, and perhaps more accurately, a lack of chemistry are determined to keep the star crossed lovers apart.

From Justin to Kelly is exactly what I expected an American Idol movie to be like. In the same vein as those annoying Ford Focus musical skits on the television series, From Justin to Kelly is camptastic. There really is no reason to watch the film except to make fun of it. I honestly wanted to like the movie. Justin and Kelly seem like nice people with pleasant voices. I really did not want the movie to suck as much as it did. Just about everything in the movie is cringeworthy – the costumes, the garishly fake backdrops, the extremely peppy extras who were obviously paid in drugs or alcohol, the plot, the dialogue, the acting, not to mention the music. I admittedly enjoy pop music and can overlook laughable lyrics, a lack of talent, and the over use of synthesizers all for the sake of a good beat, but the music in From Justin to Kelly was unbearable. Couple the pop poop with regurgitated choreography from the Backstreet Boys and you get a film barely worthy of being called a “musical.” The only remarkable song is a duet between Guarini and Clarkson on their sailing date where they profess their feelings for each other. This song would be ten times better if all I had to do was listen to it, but watching Clarkson and Guarini feign chemistry in front of a criminally bad representation of a romantic sunset squelches all enjoyment of the musical number. I would include the name of the song, but it’s not worth going back to the DVD.

Surprisingly, Justin Guarini is quite good at playing “Justin.” He seems to make the most of the films abhorrent dialogue and delivers his lines with as much sincerity as his hair will let him. Kelly Clarkson’s acting, on the other hand, is a little more excruciating to watch, but at least she’s good at singing. I’m sure the rest of the supporting cast is just as nice and talented as Justin and Kelly, but their names aren’t in the title so I don’t remember anything about them.

From Justin to Kelly is a bad movie, but it’s so bad that it becomes good. It’s like yo’ mama, so easy to trash on.

If you find it under your friend’s mattress or some other secret hiding spot, feel free to take a look. Or, better yet, wait until it’s $1.99 at Walmart, watch it, then stick it in the microwave.

My recommendation: Unless you have some alternative use for the DVD, wait until it’s free.