Korea, NO. KoreaN, YES.

My cousin, VP told me about this recent public service announcement produced by Kobaco. Essentially, the PSA encourages "Korea" to be warmer and more thoughtful -- to be "KoreaN." I'm guessing that the 'n' in KoreaN stands for "New Korea."

This PSA is pretty awesome. It captures a number of my gripes about living in Seoul. It's especially heartening to see that the video was produced by a Korean organization.
Hopefully the message is better received. It's like when your mother tells you to lose weight. Only a mother can get away with calling you fat.

Anyhow, I wanted to share this video with y'all, so I asked Cyndi helped me to translate the video.

-------------------------------

KOREA [Scrolling shot of shiny skyscrapers that are allegedly in Seoul]
"We have changed, but..."
KOREAN [Shot of ajusshi yelling rabidly from his car. 짜증나!]
"We need to change more."

KOREA [Close-up of a woman using wi-fi to chat with her friend via webcam]
"We've advanced, but..."
KOREAN [The same woman is laughing loudly in the cafe, to the annoyance of the other patrons]
"We need to move further."

KOREA [Close up of a map, transitioning to a nice shot of Incheon airport]
"We've gotten closer, but..."
KOREAN [SHot of a Korean man rudely brushing past a foreign man on the escalator]
"We can get closer."

KOREA [Dynamic shot of sports fans cheering on Korea]
"Our hearts are warm, but..."
KOREAN [Shot of lonely foreign man waiting at a train stop]
"We have to be warmer."

"Korea 보다 더 자랑스러운 KoreaN."
Translation: KoreaN, prouder than Korea.

I swear. I do not have Swine Flu.

I just got back from a quick trip to Seattle, where I attended my sister's college graduation. (Congrats, Doogal!) That was my second trip to and from the Homeland, over a span of two months. Of course, I had the great fortune to travel during the HINI pandemonium, I mean, pandemic.

Anyone who's arrived in Seoul by way of some swine-flu infested nation will know that shortly after your arrival, you will receive a call from the Korean Center for Disease Control. I've been called twice now by the CDC, and I have to admit, both phone calls were quite entertaining.


SCENE 1: The First Call
When I returned to Seoul in May, I had no idea that the CDC folks were calling all the Miguk-ins, so this is how my conversation went.

Riiiiiiinnnnnnnng.

CDC Lady: (Speaks rapid Korean, none of which I am able to comprehend)

Annalog: Yes? (I say in terrible Korean) I'm sorry, but I don't speak Korean very well.

CDC Lady: (She kindly, yet nervously switches to English) Um... You know CDC?

Annalog: Um... you mean like the American CDC?

CDC Lady: No.

Annalog: Oh, no. Then, I don't know...

CDC Lady: (pause) Uh... you know INFLUENZA?

Annalog: (A light bulb switches on) Oh! Yes, I know.

CDC Lady: Do you feel any flu or cold symptoms?

Annalog: No.

CDC Lady: (longer pause) Um... (reverts back to Korean) If you are feeling any cold or flu symptoms over the next seven days, please call your local health center.

Annalog: Okay. Thank you,

CDC Lady: (Hangs up, and takes a shot of soju.)



SCENE II: The Second Call
It is my second day back from the States. A phone call from the Korean CDC is expected.

"Gotta get that-that..."

Young CDC Dude: (in fluent English) Hello, is this Annalog?

Annalog: Yes, speaking.

Young CDC Dude: I'm am calling from the Korean Center for Disease Control. I'm calling because you arrived from America, blah, blah, blah.... Are you feeling any cold or flu symptoms.

Annalog: (Trying desperately to hide a lingering cough) No.

Young CDC Dude: Really?

Annalog: No cold or flu symptoms...

Young CDC Dude: Can I ask you one more question.

Annalog: Yes.

Young CDC Dude: Are you Korean American?

Annalog: Yes...

Young CDC Dude: Really? You don't sound Korean-American. (pause) You sound like a pure white person.

Annalog: (Is unsure whether or not that was a compliment, so she emits an awkward half-laugh) Really? Oh...

Young CDC Dude: If you experience any cold or symptoms, please call your local health center. Also, we will calling you 4-5 more times within the next two weeks.

Annalog: (Thinks to herself, WTF!?!) Ok. Thank you.

- End -

I'm not sure if the CDC rep was simply captivated by my "pure white person voice" or if one of the passenger or airline personnel narked on me, but calling me 4 to 5 more times seems a little much. I told you already. NO COLD OR FLU SYMPTOMS! Cough. Cough. Cough.

What is Chejil?

I don't know if you're tired of hearing about my chejil, but I swear, it's kind of taken over my life.

So, y'all are probably wondering, what is this chejil (체질)? Here's what I've learned through my Cousin N, our hanuisa, and some cursory searches through Google. For a long while, according to findings in Oriental Medicine, humans were classified as one of four body "constitutions" or chejil. One's chejil is determined from birth and is distinguished by the relative size and strength of one's organs. In turn, one's chejil influences one's appearance, temperment, physiology, and pathology. A specially trained hauisa, is able to determine your chejil based on your pulse. source

In 1965, after extensive research and practice, a Korean Doctor of Oriental Medicine, Dr. Do Won Kwon, developed this concept of chejil further and found that humans may be classified as one of eight body types. source

Go ahead and search "8 Constitution Medicine" if you'd like the complete listing of the eight body types. I am only familiar with three.

Pretty much everyone at The Hagwon has gone to see the hanuisa - my cousins (the bosses), our office manager (kwajang-nim), and the other instructors. Funny enough, we all fall under one of three chejil: toyang (Pancreotonia), mogyang (Hepatonia) , or gu-um (Colonotonia).

Here's what I know about the three:

1. Toyang [토양]
The most common body type, according to the doctor, is toyang. Folks with the toyang chejil are advised to avoid fowl, spicy food (including mustard, green onions, and onions!), sesame oil, and nuts. Theoretically, this diet doesn't seem so bad, unless you live in Korea. The toyang chejil is apparently very common amongst Koreans. Good luck trying to get Koreans to cut out kimchi. Toyangs are known to be sweethearts, but they can also be impulsive and quick-tempered.

2. Mogyang [목양]
One's chejil is hereditary. Thus, based on the fact that all three of my co-workers/cousins are mogyangs, I've surmised that my mother is most likely a mogyang. Given that I'm surrounded by mogyangs, I learned a lot about this particular chejil. For example, typically, mogyangs are shaped like a snowman. (In English, we call such figures, pear-shaped, but I suppose that pears are round in Korea so such a term would refer to a different body shape.) Due to their weak lungs, mogyangs are told to avoid seafood and leafy vegetables. I would have thought that leafy greens are good for the lungs, but what do I know? It's also important for mogyangs to sweat. If they don't sweat, something is wrong with their body.

In terms of temperament, mogangs are known to be kind-hearted risk-takers who don't like to talk. In fact, excessive talking is bad for a mogyang's health.

Cyndi, Cousin N, and Cousin N's eldest daugter, J, have all been sticking quite faithfully to their mogyang diets for the past three weeks. They all seem to be enjoying their prescribed diets, though they're still waiting to see the results on their figures.

The doctor did note that if a person wants to lose weight, s/he must eat the same portion size for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I would have interpreted that to mean a super-sized breakfast, super-sized lunch, and super-sized dinner, but it sounds like he was saying to limit one's portion size.

3. Gu-um [그음]

This is my chejil. Wah. Wah. Wah.
I'm told that my chejil is not very common. Probably for good reason. I think a lot of people with my chejil must have died -- out of misery. As I've whined about before, gu-um aren't allowed to eat meat, dairy, flour, root vegetables, coffee, sugar, soy beans, and a bunch of other things that I'm going to ignore. As the doctor explained to me, I'm like a cow. If a cow can't eat it, I can't eat it. I didn't realize that cows likes seafood, but I'm sure glad that it's on my "good for me" list. Gu-ums are also supposed to avoid excessive use of the computer. In fact, continuing with this long rambling post might be quite detrimental to my health.

Cousin N. translated a few passages from the book she purchased at the hauiwon. According to this book, gu-ums are very intelligent (true dat), but also ambitious, potentially tyrannical, and well-suited for politics (Who determined this? I'm going to punch his lights out and burn down his village!) Gu-ums are thought to make great marathon runners. The first reason being, we have strong lungs. More importantly, however, when a gu-um seem a person fall in the race, she will be energized and more motivated to charge on ahead. (For the record, that's so not true...I would never run a marathon.) Famous gu-ums include Picasso and Nero, ancient Roman tyrant. I didn't realize that both Picasso and Nero went to a hanuiwon.

I've been pretty darn faithful to my chejil diet for the past three weeks. Do I think it's worth the effort? I'll have to give you my response in another post. This post is already way too long. Plus, I have to go terrorize the downtrodden.

체질

Seong, Cyndi, and I went back to see the hanuisa (Doctor of Oriental Medicine), and after a final screening, the doctor identified our respective 체질 (chejil).

I'm going to have to dedicate another post on this whole chejil concept, but here's the gist of it: all humans maybe be classified as one of eight body types. According to this holistic approach to medicine, one's physical constitution, and hence, diet, are tightly linked to one's personality, well-being, and physical health.

The doctor handed each of us a brief summary about our respective body types. I'm just going to let you all take a gander at our chejil for yourselves. I will fill you in on how the diets are affecting each of us and how we are coping in a whole 'nother post. Trust me. I have A LOT to say.

CYNDI's Chejil: 목양체질 (aka Hepatonia)















Things that are harmful to Cyndi:
All seafood, leafy greens, cucumber, egg plant, mung bean, cabbage, cocoa, chocolate, buckwheat flour, persimmon, Chinese quince, papaya, peaches, pineapples, cherries, green grapes, grape sugar/dextrose/glucose, dextrose injections, swimming, blue wallpaper, cigarettes, Vitamin E, amalgam.

Things that are good for Cyndi:
All types of meat, rice, soy beans, flour, coffee, milk, all root vegetables, garlic, pumpkin, mushroom, sugar, fresh water eel, mud fish, cat fish, carbonated drink, pears, apples, watermelon, nuts (walnuts, chestnuts, pine nuts), antlers of young deers, ginseng, Vitamins A, B, C, D, E, gold caps/filling, gold injections, aspirin, hiking, breathing exercises, reddish hues.

Basically, Cyndi should split her time between gogi BBQ places and the sauna.

ANNALOG'S Chejil: 근음체질 (aka Colonotonia)














Things that are harmful to me:
All types of meat, whale meat, garlic, deer antlers, fresh water fish, coffee, artificial flavorings, flour, pumpkin, soy beans, milk, sugar, adlay (wild grains), pears, apples, melons, chestnuts, pine nuts, ginko nuts, all root vegetables, mushrooms, taro, Vitamins A, C, D, E, aspirin, carbonated drinks, gold injections, atropine injections, hot baths, hiking, excessive use of computers and other electronic devices, residing in the forest, and penicillin.

Things that are good for me:
Buckwheat, rice, glucose/dextrose, all seafood, all leafy vegetables, bean sprouts, mung beans, cucumbers, bracken (a type of edible fern), seaweed, salted fish, grapes, peaches, persimmons, cherries, pineapples, strawberries, green onion, mustard, ginger, pepper, cocoa, chocolate, swimming, breathing exercises where I inhale quickly and exhale slowly, yellow hues.


Basically, I should hope that I never need medical care from a hospital, and I should move to Japan (and avoid forests).

Po-po-po-poker Face

I had no idea that Lady GaGa could sing. I thought she was just about hair and spandex.

Cover, Cover

Just when I was getting tired of Super Junior's "Sorry, Sorry", Allkpop posted a few videos of Navi, a Korean pop ballad singer, covering the popular single as well as another personal favorite, 2PM's "Again & Again."

Navi puts a nice jazzy spin on the two "hook norae."





Here she is on Kiss the Radio, performing a medley of recent megahits, including "Gee" and "Nobody."

Trendspotting

Last year I predicted that Roti Bun was going to be a huge hit. Lo and behold, roti buns are almost as ubiquitous as coffee in Seoul. Despite being featured in KBS' megahit, Boys Over Flowers, I think the popularity of roti buns are on the decline (Sorry, roti buns. Korea is a fickle, fickle market.) Move over roti buns. Here are my picks for the next big trend items.



1. Turkish döner kebab
Anyone's who been to Itaewon a few times has probably discovered the awesomness that are Turkish kebabs for him or herself. Kebabs joints have probably been around in Itaewon for quite some time. I would say, however, that kebabs have only recently become popular amongst Koreans. Case in point, they now sell kebabs in MYEONGDONG. Once an item hits the streets of Myeondong it's no longer on the cusp of trend, it is a trend. The Myeondong kebabs have even been Koreanified, i.e., lots of mayo and cabbage. Also, if you've seen any of the newly renovated kebab joints in Itaewon, it's evident that the kebab business is poppin'.



















2. Forever 21
This trend item probably seems redundant given that in Standard American Mall English, "Forever 21" means "trendy." In my opinion, Forever 21 is a whole different animal in Korea. First of all, I don't know if it's just the merhcandising, but the clothes in Forever 21 Myeondong seem a lot more chic. It's definitely more expensive. Also, the Myeondong store is flanked by bodyguards in black suits and ear pieces, who all take their job very seriously. I loves me some Forever 21, but I think bodyguards are a little much. Anyhow, I've been seeing those horrendous caution-tape yellow bags all around town. Seoul folks are definitely loving Forever 21.




















3. BBang Faces.
I'm not sure what they're called, but these little cellphone buns are so adorable. They're also made out of some rubbery foam that make them so squishably lovely.



















4. Brunch
Brunch has been around for ages, but I definitely think that brunch is this year's roti bun. Everyone restaurateur and their umma is now serving brunch. Stroll around Itaewon, and you'll find that nearly every eatery now offers a brunch menu. It doesn't matter if it's Italian, French, or just a little cafe, they got brunch. Of course, brunch might consist of pasta and sausage, but it's called brunch.

Our latest brunch hotspot is Richard Copycat's All-American Diner in Itaewon. It's a cross between Hooters (without the "hooters") and a diner. Portions are very American, and the food's not half-bad. The staff all speak English.



















5. Cupcakes
This isn't quite a trend so much as a trend I'd like to see blossom. Cupcake bakeries have been popping up around Seoul, but I've been pretty disappointed by all the cucpakes I've tried. This weekend, while cruising the food hall at Hyundae Department Store (in the Coex), we discovered a new cupcake bakery called "Good Ovening." I have to say the cupcakes there are the prettiest I've seen thus far in Seoul. They definitely look like they could be delicious. Unfortunately, I had just started my obscene diet, so I couldn't sample a cupcake. Instead, I made Seong and Cyndi try the red velvet cupcake while I looked on :(

Cyndi & Seong said that the cupcake was tasty, though skimpy on the sugar and butter. The cupcakes, are apparently, lower in calories than most other cupcakes, hence the shortage of fat and sugar. The cupcake appeared a little too dry for liking, but I won't be able to taste them for myself until after my exam next week.