11 October 2006

Stick It!

In total, I saw about 20 minutes of Stick It, but let me tell you, that was 20 minutes too long. I kept walking in and out of the room, but even with my sporadic viewing, the movie was simple enough for me to follow a long:

Bad ass Xtreme chick, Haley Grahama gets into trouble with the law. As punishment, she is sent to serve time at a Gymnastics Training Facility (is the US Juvenille Court System really this silly?). Having been a promising gymnast who abruptly quit the sport, Haley is not too happy about returning to the mats.... blah...blah...blah.

The movie is marketed as the gymnastics version of Bring it On. That's such a LIE.

02 October 2006

10 Things I Learned from The Fast & the Furious: Tokyo Drift

1) Drifting is the art of nearly wrecking the car you just spent thousands of dollars to customize. This underground sport originated in the smoothly paved mountains of Japan. The primary language used in the Tokyo drift scene is English.

2) To avoid serving time in the American juvenille jail system, simply move to Asia to live with your dead beat dad.

3) There aren't very many Japanese people in Tokyo, at least none that we should care about (that is, unless they're yakuza).

4) It's really easy to jump into the Japanese high school system if you know the following Japanese terms: gaijin, sumimasen, and wabaki.

5) If you drive above 180 km in Tokyo, the cops won't bother to go after you.

6) You can make a lot of money selling clocks and sneakers to Japanese citizens.

7) The prizes for racing/drifting usually suck, and aren't worth endangering your life or the lives of hapless bystanders.

8) A cameo by Vin Diesel is all you need to justify your film's use of the Fast & Furious brand.

9) If the video store is out of Tokyo Drift, simply rent Better Luck Tomorrow for a comparable viewing experience.

10) American cars are far superior to Japanese cars. U.S.A! U.S.A!