Teacher Annalog: "How to be an Awesome President"

I recently started teaching a small class of fourth grade international school students. Because they are nine-year-old boys from privileged backgrounds, they can be quite antagonistic. As they remind me on a regular basis, they hate me and think that I am a devil because (a) I am a "girl" (b) assign them homework (c) make them take a vocabulary quiz and (d) make them write an essay every week. For some reason, they are under the impression that I am their babysitter or royal entertainer, and not their highly esteemed reading and writing teacher. These boys better recognize.

I'm determined to win them over through patience, candy, vocab games, and a generous tolerance for references to violence and video games.

Today, they started referring to me as "Ms. Devil." I see this as a step in the right direction. In fact, one student even gave me a piece of bubble gum. It was wrapped, so I don't have to worry about the gum being poisoned. Plus, I let the other boys eat the gum in class for safe measure.

Even though they can be quite horrid, I'm starting to enjoy the class. I especially enjoy reading their essays. My elementary students may not be strong writers, but they often prove to be quite insightful, despite their limited writing skills. Meanwhile, the essays of my older students are poorly written AND lack creativity or critical thinking.

Since the Homeland is in the midst of an election year, I thought I'd share a couple of essays courtesy of my fourth grade demons. The topic was: "What are the necessary qualities for a good president?"

Obama and McCain need to take note.

Editorial comments are in italics.

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President !!!
Written by: Too Smart for his Own Good

Presidents are really serious when they are talking what about to do for the future. They also need to be clean and look good. They also need to have the responsibility to speech.

They need to be clean when there doing there speech. But they could be clean or dirty in there home. The reason is that the people won't like to see a dirty president doing speech.

They also need to have the responsibility to speech. The reason is that they should make there own speech because they can't just stay there saying nothing. They also need to have a responsibility because they can't just say something wrong then the people will be thinking they are crazy.

These are my reasons why presidents have to be serious and be careful when they give a speech.

Teacher Annalog: Seriously, future Mr. President. Just be sure to look good and prevent yourself from saying anything foolish. I guess our current president would argue that it's easier said than done...

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President
Written by: The Nice One

If you want to be a president, you need to make laws for the country. Laws are very helpful, because people will be safe, and country will not ruin.

Second, you need to be responsible so everybody can believe you, and you can hear good things about you or some people can peak you for president again.

Third, you need to be smart, because if you foolish, everybody have a much complains to president, and your country will ruins, or your country will be going poor, and you may be impeached.

Last, you need to be kind to everyone so that everyone will love their president, and support the presidents party. If you want to be president, I think you need these qualities.

Teacher Annalog: As most presidents will attest to, the presidency is not about leading the country per se. The presidency is about your LEGACY. What will the history books say? Are you going to go down as the chump that "ruined" the country or will you be remembered as the charismatic president that everyone loved (and narrowly escaped impeachment). Also, don't forget about your party. They MADE you. You better represent or else... you just might wake up one day and find the severed head of Ann Coulter in your bed.