Guest Post: Piliksu's Scaling Adventure

As I mentioned in a previous post about scaling (facials) for men, we dragged, I mean, invited our visiting friend Piliksu to ANACLI. Since Piliksu is a dude and has not been living in an appearance-obsessed city for the past nine months, I thought it'd be interesting to get his take on the experience.

He has a lot to say.

I think we may have scarred him for life (Figuratively speaking, of course). ㅋㅋㅋ

PILIKSU'S PERSPECTIVE
--------------------------------------

I’d like to say upfront that I’m not really into cosmetic treatments. In fact, I’ve only had a facial one other time and that was also in Korea. Nevertheless, I am intrigued with the whole body/facial enhancement process and why it’s such a phenomenon in Asia; this includes full on plastic surgery. What has surprised me is the number of men who have succumbed to this trend and are willing to shell out their hard earned money with the hope of looking as beautiful as their significant others or some famous actress, although I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to have skin as smooth as 林志玲 or 이효리. To be honest, I’ve met quite a few gentlemen in Asia who say they regularly go in for facials, pedicures, and manicures. It’s a little odd to hear them talk about their appointments as if they were meeting up with friends after work to grab a beer. We tough strapping American men normally do not discuss such behavior, much less engage in it. So how was I lured into trying this out for a second time? Well, I was in Korea during a short two day layover and decided to skip out on going to the DMZ and save it for another time. The result was a free day and the two lovely ladies I was with asked me to join them for their regular treatments. I thought, “This is something I never do in the US and it’s unique. Hell, why not? I’m in.”

The dermatology office wasn’t too far from where I was staying. The first thing I noticed entering were several computer consoles in the lobby. JACKPOT! Free internet service, apparently a common perk in Korea. We first met up with the doctor to discuss our “scaling” treatment. As Anna mentioned in her post, scaling is the use of glycolic acid on your face. My understanding is that this acid removes an entire layer of skin. How this can be good for you still baffles me. I have bad skin in general--I blame it on genetics--so removing another layer of it was a little disconcerting. The doctor also concurred that my skin was not exactly up to par. In fact, I believe she was a little offended at its unsightly state, perhaps taking what appeared to be my disregard for skin care as an affront to her profession.

We were lead into a room with multiple beds and were asked to wait…and wait...and wait… and wait… I’m normally a patient person but I think we must’ve been there for over half-an-hour before anyone came in. This made me a little antsy since my time in Korea was very limited and I didn’t want to spend it lying in a dermatology office staring at the ceiling. Eventually several ladies filed in to start the process. I actually don’t remember all the steps in order, but I do recall there was constant application of different types of creams. Some of them smelled kind of funky. This was executed by the clinic’s staff and they tried their best to announce to me, the token non-Korean, each step they were about to perform. Unfortunately, I didn’t really understand what they were saying and couldn’t tell if they were speaking Korean or just heavily accented Konglish. There was also a lot of massaging of the face going on, which felt great, but I found the pressure used to be on the soft side. It was like bad foreplay (note to facial people: stronger pressure is needed to relax those muscles). After much primping by the staff, the doctor came in and began applying the glycolic acid to each of our faces with some sort of cotton or sponge pad. The initial feeling was a wonderful cool minty sensation. This eventually turned into an unpleasant stinging as if someone was tearing at your face with long nails. I’m guessing that was the part where the acid melted away the top layer of my skin. This was the doctor’s only involvement in the whole process which I found a little disappointing. When she finished, the staff shuffled back to continue additional application of random creams and their light facial massages. At one point they began to use some instrument, it could’ve been their fingernails, to squeeze out the oils and blackheads strewn across my face. I found this rather enjoyable since my face felt surprisingly cleaner afterwards.

Next was the mask. For those of you who suffer from taphephobia, I would caution you to be mentally prepared. Not only was my head wrapped like a mummy and covered in some type of green concoction as if being prepared for burial, but I had to lie still for 20 minutes while the mask settled and did its voodoo magic. Anna of course jumped on this opportunity to photograph me in my compromised position (Thanks, Anna... I hope you know payback’s a bitch). With the mask portion complete, I was ready to head out since I thought the treatment was finished. To my surprise, as they were removing the green monstrosity, a laser machine made its way into the room and tanning goggles were placed over my eyes. I was promptly subjugated to several minutes of trance alien lighting. For a moment, I half expected orifice probes to appear courtesy of the staff. Korean friends informed me later that the lasers happen to be the distinguishing piece of the scaling process and the most expensive part. Apparently, it’s the lasers that are the finishing touch in removing the blemishes and wrinkles from your face.

Overall, I found the whole hour long process to be a decent one. My face initially didn’t feel that much different after the scaling treatment. But I did notice the effects a day later. My skin was definitely smoother, but my scars, large pores, etc. were still visible. I heard that to see any real results you have to do a minimum of at least five sessions. So would I do it again? Yeah, probably, just cause the novelty of it hasn’t worn off yet. Would I do it regularly? No, I’m a little leery of regularly applying strange chemicals to any part of my body unless it’s shampoo or soap. Also, I would suggest to other guys to go ahead and try it several times for fun. But unless you’re someone like Takeshi Kaneshiro where looking money is required for your job and the ladies, I’d say go buy a nice car or fancy clothes instead with the $$$ you’d save from routine facials. I would give scaling “three-and-a-half chemical acid masks out of five.” Time to let those dead skin cells gather up and settle in for my next visit to Korea.

Annalog Eats: Live Octopus!

JIm's Chingu was really interested in trying 산낙지 (san nakji), raw, squirming octopus! We took him to a restaurant in Bundang. I've eaten live octopus once before in Busan, so I knew what I was in for. Chingu, however, was a newbie, so he was curious with a tinge of apprehension. After his first bite, he was soon craving more. He nearly finished the entire plate of octopus all by himself.

If you are into seafood, particularly octopus, I recommend the dish. The octopus is chopped up, but you must be sure to chew quickly and thoroughly for the tentacles may stick to the inside of your mouth or your throat.

I tried the octopus head for the first and LAST time. It was just way too chewy. I was chewing for about 30 seconds when I finally decided to spit it out.

We also tried nakji bokkum, stir fried octopus. Aside from the octopus overload, I also stayed away from the nakji bokkum because it was VERY spicy. Even Cyndi thought the dish was spicy, and she drinks Tabasco for breakfast.

Check out the video to see Chingu's funny reaction to his first bite of san nakji.

Hair Styling Tips from a Myeondong Ajusshi

While JIm was looking at some hair accessories on the streets of Myeondong, we watched with amazement as the ajusshi taught some young Korean women how to put up their hair with a chopstick. I asked him to teach me, and he kindly let us record his tutorial on camera. He taught me how to put up my hair using three different accessories: an ornate chopstick, a long clip (salon style), and two mini clips. If you've seen my hair in person, you know that it's VERY thick and unruly. I was quite impressed that he could secure an up-do with just a chopstick or two mini clips.

If you are interested in learning how to put up your hair, you can check out the video or stop by his stand in Myeongdong. I'm pretty certain that I won't be able to replicate his styling, but I'll certainly try. The ajusshi is usually stationed across from the Cafe Baskin Robbins (near Buffalo and On Tree). I must warn you though, he can be a little overly friendly, if you know what I mean.

He may be a little sketchy, but he's great at twisting hair.

"King Waffle"

JIm and her chingu are in town. Too bad it's raining.
We had a "King Waffle" last night at Loveice in Seohyeon. It wasn't a very good introduction to Korean fro-yo. We'll have to take them to Red Mango.
















By the way, we took JIm to the saju in Shinchon. She also felt that what her saju was "right on the dot." Though, as we discussed, part of the saju's skill is that she can read people very well. In any case, getting your saju told is quite fun.

Coronary Heart Disease on a Plate

We tried a burger from Smokey Saloon (in the Hyundae Department Store Food Court /Samseong-dong). Of course, I had to go for the burger that posed the most risk of inducing heart disease. This burger's called the "Ambulance," a cheeseburger with a hash brown, bacon, and sunny-side up egg. The burger was certainly tasty, but it was more like a meatloaf than a burger. The juices from the patty make the bun soggy, so you'll probably want to eat the burger with a fork and knife.

I'm curious to check out Smokey Saloon in Itaewon. I imagine that they have a wider menu than the one at the Food Court.

I'm not sure which is worse for my health, this burger or the heart attack on a stick.

Self-Correcting Vandal

Looks like some young tagger has been paying attention in hagwon.

Banannalog Bread

Most Korean apartments (or at least officetels) do not have ovens. I have to resort to baking in a toaster oven. The toaster oven is great for my Pop Tarts, but it sort of takes the fun out of baking.

A few months back, Heng got a pretty awesome oven by Hauzen (Samsung). It not only serves as a electric oven, but it also can microwave, steam, and dehydrate food. It can probably do your taxes as well.

If my suitcases wouldn't be filled with clothes and Korean stationary, I'd seriously consider investing in a Hauzen oven.

Fortunately, Heng lives across the street from us, so we can bake at her house any time we want. Literally. Cyndi secretly memorized her pass code. :)

We decided to try out my cousin Nani's banana bread. Her banana bread was one of the best that I've tasted. The loaf had a nice crunchy crust, while the bread was soft and flavorful, without being overly sweet.

I asked her for the recipe, and it turns out that she bungled the recipe a bit. Nonetheless, the bread was delicious.

Heng didn't have any white granulated sugar, so we used brown sugar. This change in sugar altered the final product, but our version of the bread was still yummy, if I do say so myself.

The three versions of the banana bread recipe are listed after the video. I recommend Nani's version, but the Banannalog Bread ain't bad either.


Banannalog Bread from Annalog on Vimeo.


Original Recipe (as dictated to me over the phone)

• 1 1/3 cup of flour
• 3/4 tsp salt
• 1/2 tsp baking soda
• 1/2 tsp baking powder
• 5 1/3 TBS unsalted butter (at room temperature)
• 2/3 cup sugar
• 2 large eggs
• 1 cup of bananas (mashed)
  

Nani's Version

• 1 1/3 cup of flour
• 3/4 tsp salt
• 1/2 tsp baking soda
• 1/2 tsp baking powder
• 1/3 cup of unsalted butter (melted)
  
• 2/3 cup granulated sugar
• 2 large eggs
• 2 ripe bananas (mashed)
  

Banannalog Bread Recipe

• 1 1/3 cup of flour
• 3/4 tsp salt
• 1/2 tsp baking soda
• 1/2 tsp baking powder
• 1/3 cup of unsalted butter (melted)
  
• 2/3 cup brown sugar
• 2 large eggs
• 3 ripe Korean bananas (mashed)
  

Instructions

1. Preheat the oven to 300 degrees Fahrenheit (approx. 148 degrees Celsius)
2. Combine the dry ingredients in a bowl (flour, baking soda, baking powder, and salt), and set aside.
   
3. Cream the butter and sugar together until the mixture is light and fluffy.
4. Combine the dry mixture with the butter using an electric mixture.
5. Mix in 2 large eggs.
6. Fold in the mashed bananas.
7. Pour the batter into a greased loaf pan.
8. Bake for 50-60 minutes.
   

The recipe is deliciously simple. It seems pretty hard to mess up.

Props to my sister for bringing me her handheld electric mixer. It makes baking a lot easier, but I do miss my Kitchen Aid mixer.




Joyce, you better be taking care of my baby!

Cocktail on the Run

If you are in Kangnam and are in need of a cocktail on-the-go, or perhaps you're running low on vinyl zip bags, then you might be interested in a cocktail from Bomber's. Bomber's is like what we call a taco truck (or manapua truck) back home, except they sell cocktails.

As I mentioned before, there are no restrictions on drinking in public in Korea. You'd think that with the easy access to alcohol, you'd see a lot more public drunkenness in Seoul -- Oh, wait...

I'm not certain if they have a regular schedule, but you can probably find the Bomber's truck on the weekends, parked near Kyobo Tower. Cocktails start at 3000 won.

Ramen in Myeongdong

Cyndi and I finally found a decent ramen place. It just opened up in Myeongdong. The portions are quite large and the price of a dish averages around 8500-9000 won.














We also tried their donkatsu (pork cutlet). They use 목살. I believe that this is supposed to be a selling point, but I do not like neck meat. I can't imagine that anyone would prefer neck meat over the more succulent part of a hog. (Maybe a Cullen?)















If you'd like to check out the place for yourself, it's called Furusato (후루사도). It's above Missha, and right across from 명동교자.

This post has nothing to do with the Motherland.

I was hopping around youtube, when I came across this compilation of openings from popular cartoons in the '80s. I have a tendency to get very nostalgic and say that things were SO MUCH better when I was a kid. However, after watching this video I realize that I'm wrong. Cartoons from the '80s aren't superior to today's selection of cartoons. They simply hooked me at a time when I didn't know any better. In retrospect, cartoons from the 1980s seem like bizarre, overly complex commercials. Don't get me wrong. I still love my '80s cartoons. This realization wouldn't stop me from buying any of these cartoons on DVD. Rather, I'd just think twice before I made any of my future children watch these 'toons.

Who am I kidding? I'm so going to make them watch Jem.



There's also a video for cartoons from the '90s I'm not going to lie. I was still watching cartoons in the 1990s.

It's kind of ironic. Today, it's all about translating comics and animated series to the big screen. In the '90s, it was all about transforming popular movies into a cartoon.



I will conclude with three words for my sister: Samurai...Pizza...Cats...

Also, check out this guy's rendition of one of my favorite theme songs.

Me Like Monster Diary

My friend Anonymous Monster Boy would like you to check out his Monster Diary. It's primarily intended for younger readers (so feel free to pass the link on to your homies still in elementary school), but it may be enjoyed by all readers -- at least, those who don't mind a little silliness and bad grammar.

Scaling for Men

Cyndi and I were due for a scaling, and Piliksu decided to join us. He actually wanted to go to the DMZ, but changed his mind when he learned that we'd have to trek to Seoul very early in the morning.




























Tools of the Trade:
I bet you didn't think that a facial could be so involved.




























The doctor lived in L.A. when she was younger, so her English was quite good. I finally got a chance to ask the doctor what "scaling" is. Scaling is basically a light Glycolic Acid mask. She says that the mask is slightly lighter than what you'd get back in the States because Asian skin types tend to be more sensitive. That's true. My skin gets very emotional when I watch sappy movies.














I don't really know any dudes back home who regularly go in for a facial (at least, they won't admit to it). I saw a number of men at the clinic, so I don't think Korean men feel as self-conscious about taking care of their skin.

You'd think that facials or scalings would be more popular with men. I mean, a pretty woman washes and massages your face. I thought men would find such an idea very appealing.














After the peel, they soothe your face with a mask that's appropriate for your skin type. I think they gave Piliksu a "whitening" mask. I'm find it curious that Shrek-green substance "whitens" your skin.















At the end of procedure, they subject you to some sort of laser light show. I'm not sure what it does. I'm hoping it's to the benefit of my complexion, and not part of some top secret science experiment. It took me four scalings before I even realized they did this. I'm usually asleep until the very end.















I've asked Piliksu to send me thoughts on the whole experience. I'll post an update, if/when he responds.

Passion 5 (Bakery)

After some delicious sushi at Sakanaya in Apkujung, we went with our cousins to Passion 5, an upscale bakery in Hannam (near the entry of Itaewon, across from the Samsung Leeuem Museum). Earlier that day, we had tried Passion 5's lovely puddings. I'm not really into pudding, but between the flavors and the chic bottling, I was hooked. I also tried their "Classic Chocolate Cake" and was quite impressed by it's full flavor and smooth texture. It was definitely a step up above Paris Baguette (not that there's anything wrong with Paris Baguette).

Annalog Eats: Space Kimchee

Last month, South Korea sent its first astronaut to space. Along with Yi So-Yeon, they sent up some space friendly kimchee, because as most Koreans will tell you, it's not a complete meal without the option of kimchee. My cousin Nani had a set of Korean space food on hand, which she received as a "gift with purchase." Though we were a bit wary, we all were curious to check out this innovation in food technology.

I'm sure that Korean astronauts would be grateful for some food from the Motherland, but I can only imagine what foreign astronauts will think when they get a whiff of the kimchee.

Curious about Korean space food? Check out the video. Today's episode stars my lil' cousin Emi, with a cameo by her big sis' Jen. As is the Hollywood way, Cyndi better watch out. She's got competition from a much younger, rising star ㅋ ㅋ ㅋ

Interview with Ian Oppa

As I mentioned previously, Ian Oppa came to Seoul for a two-week vacation. Given the fact that he was in Korea for a longer period, knows a little more Korean, and is generally more amiable than my sister, I thought he'd offer a different take on his time in Korea.

He's currently compiling his photos, but you can check out his interview below. My comments are in purple.



What was your first impression of Seoul?
Seoul??? I thought I landed in Los Angeles with the smell and the
haze of smog. Other than that, Seoul is like your typical "big city"
with lots of cars and people.

Given your Korean skills, was it easy to get around?

I was surprised that so many people spoke English (or at least
understood it). However, if you don't know how to read or speak some
of the language I would say that it could be pretty difficult to get
around. Because I spoke some Korean, everyone automatically assumed
that I was fluent (which I am nowhere near). I think it would be
better to feign ignorance and just speak English.

Were there any Korean phrases that you wish you knew how to say?
"Hey ajumma, why are you cutting in front of me?"

"Another bottle of beer/soju please." Oh wait, I do know THAT one!

What are a few sights that all first-time visitors should check out?

Everyone should check out Gyeongbokgung Palace because it's really
like going back in time. The changing of the palace guards is a must
see.

Bongeunsa (Buddhist temple - near the Coex, across from the Intercontinental) was very spiritually uplifting. So much so that I now am studying Buddhism. I really lucked out that it was the weekend of Buddha's birthday as the temple was adorned with lanterns and the monks were busy chanting. (On Thursdays @ 2pm, for 10,000 won you can go on an English tour, meditate, and experience a tea ceremony).

What's also so neat about these places is that they are located smack
in the middle of the city amongst the highrises. You can truly see
how time has passed by in history.

How did you like your accommodations?

The Best Western Gangnam was very nice. I had a large single room
with an excellent view of the city toward Seoul (Namsan) Tower. The
restaraunt and bar staff were really friendly (I even made a friend)
as well as the ajummas who cleaned my room. However, that being said,
the front desk people were robotic and emotionless. I would still
recommend this place though because of the location. I just wish that
it was closer to the subway and not up that treacherous hill (my legs
hurt just thinking about it). Me too.

If you had more time, what would you have liked to done?
I would have loved to see the country outside of Seoul. I also would
have gone to the DMZ to look toward North Korea. Oh well, there's
always a next time!

If you had more money, what else would you have liked to buy?

Another suitcase full of UNIQLO!!!

How did it feel to be in the Motherland (or in your case, the Grandmotherland)?
I felt welcomed in Korea. I felt like I somehow belonged there. I
though that I would have experienced more of a "culture shock" but I
just blended in (well almost). Yup, extensive arm tattoos will get you a second glance. Props to you for being tolerant of the gawking.

Seoul versus Bundang? Thoughts?
Bundang (ha ha Bun Dang) was interesting because it has that big city
feel with a lot less people. I can see how people want to live there
because you get to escape the city while still having all the perks of
the city like restaurants galore and the shopping (except no UNIQLO).
Seoul can be daunting with all the people. We may not have a UNIQLO (yet), but we're getting a Din Tai Fong!

Any tips for dudes visiting Seoul?

The more metrosexual you are, the better.

What surprised you about Seoul or Koreans?

Most Koreans are really friendly and polite and I say most because you
will definitely encounter some rude ones. You just have to break
through the exterior of some people and they turn into the nicest
people.

As far as Seoul is concerned, where are the frigging trash cans? I
must have seen about three of them the whole time I was there. I was
shocked to see all the trash on the ground everywhere I went.

What was your favorite neighborhood and why?

I felt comfortable in Gangnam because it seemed central to everywhere
I needed to go. There was shopping (a UNIQLO) and lots of places to
eat and drink. It is also a great place to people watch and see what
people are wearing and how they do their hair. When I would have to
wait for people (cough cough) (미안!), I would just park myself on the side
and watch people pass by. Gangnam has a good mix of people.

What did you think of Korean food?

In Korea, the taste of food is more simple and fresher tasting.
Korean food in Hawaii seems saltier and "thrown together". Except for
those noodles we ate in Hongdae (thanks Cindy) I found the food to be
less spicy than what I'm used to.

Try not to eat "American" food in Korea (i.e. McDonald's, Burger
King), you WILL be dissapointed.

What's with the sweet pickles??? Seriously, what's the deal?

What is your opinion of Korean fashion?

Where do I start? For the most part I think that Koreans are very
well put together. I hardly saw sloppy looking people (sorry to say
this but sloppy as in American sloppy). You can tell that by all the
people staring at themselves in any reflective surfaces, that most
Koreans care about the way they look. But...the dudes need some help.
As Anna says, those shiny business suits are REALLY shiny, almost
disco shiny if you know what I mean. You really have to see it in
person to appreciate what we mean. Unless I was crazy (which some of
you think that I am), I would not be caught DEAD in one of those
suits. As for the ladies, high heels are the norm and that
dumbfounds me. Seoul is not a flat city. Some of the hills and long
blocks give me an asthma attack and yet, there are women in high heels
EVERYWHERE. No wonder all the girls are skinny with killer calves (and corns).

Do you think you would have enjoyed Seoul if you didn't know anyone?

Hanging out with you guys was AWESOME, to say the least, and made my
trip the trip of a lifetime. I think that if I didn't know anyone I
still would have enjoyed the sightseeing , food, and shopping
(UNIQLO). You guys being there was just the icing on the cake. Yay! We were so happy that you could come out and visit!

What will you miss about Seoul?

I will miss hanging out with you guys first of all. There's nothing
like visiting a foreign country and having your friends there. I will
also miss UNIQLO very much (ha ha, I'm not kidding) and the sunglass
vendor in Gangnam. I'm sure that he misses you too. Now, he'll just have to stare at himself in the mirror to console himself.

Any other tips for travelers?

Korea is a country full of culture and a very rich heritage. Leave
your country's thinking behind and think "Korean". Study the language
and the culture because it will make your time there more enjoyable.

Get a T-money card as soon as you can. It is the utmost in
transportation convenience.

Any other comments?
The largest Korean won bill is 10000 ($10) so bring a really fat wallet.



Ian Oppa's Top Ten Highlights:

1. Hanging out with friends (old and new...Piggy included)
2. Bongeunsa temple
3. Changdeokgung and Gyeongbokgung palace
4. Watching drunk salarymen try to kiss and hug each other
5. Shopping!!!
6. Namsan Tower
7. Going to my first "pro" baseball game (our team lost)
8. Eating at "Imo chib" (Insadong)
9. Having my fortune read at a saju cafe
10. Korean Airlines (it really is a great airline)

The Lowlights:

1. The pollution in Seoul (on the streets and in the air)
2. Pushy ajummas
3. Eating beondegi (could also be considered a highlight)
4. Passing by a bosintang restaraunt in Hongdae
5. The men's room of some restauraunts (oh the SMELL!)

Doughnut Plant

I've been wanting to check out Doughnut Plant in Myeongdong for awhile now, though that was primarily because I thought it was called "Doughnut Planet." We went there rather late, so they seemed to have sold out a number of their flavors.

Perhaps the donuts that they had in stock where there for a reason, because I have to say I wasn't impressed.















I was greatly looking forward to trying the doughnuts, because the menu featured all sorts of interesting options like PB&J and Valhorna Chocolate. They even have square-shaped doughnuts!

For some reason, I decided to skip the doughnuts and try out the sticky bun. It was 땡겨ing me. Bad call, Annalog.















Cyndi had the "Blackout," inspired by the rich chocolate cake of the same name. It wasn't that bad. I think it tasted more like a cupcake. It definitely tasted better than the One cupcakes from Shinsegae.















I had the "Sticky Bun." It lacked flavor, and was a bit on the dry side.














Piliksu had the "Vanilla Bean" doughnut, the so-called no. 1 selling doughnut. For a ring of dough saturated in oil, it was very dry. It was possibly the worst doughnut I've ever tried.














After perusing the Doughnut Plant website, I realized why I did not find the doughnuts to my liking:

NO TRANS FATS
NO PRESERVATIVES
NO ARTIFICIAL FLAVORINGS
NO EGGS

Despite the disappointing doughnuts, I'm sure that people will be be drawn to this hip-looking doughnut boutique. I saw another Doughnut Plant being built somewhere else in Seoul (Kangnam? Shinchon? I can't recall), so I think you can count on them to ride this current wave of doughnut mania in Korea, a trend which I hereby deem dollyu.

"So Hot"

In case you're not in the k-pop loop, I predict that this will be the next big song. You better start learning the dance before it's all over youtube.

I'm going to even say that this song will be UBIQUITOUS. Koreans (not to mention the rest of the free world) love a beat that will get over-sexualized adolescents in minis to shake their booties.












Plus, the lyrics are just so darn cheeky.

조용히 살고 싶은데 에 에
다른 여자애들 처럼 엄 엄
엄마는 왜 날 이렇게 낳았어
내 삶을 피곤하게 하는지

I'm so hot
난 너무 예뻐요
I'm so fine
난 너무 매력있어
I'm so cool
난 너무 멋져
I'm so so so hot hot

This is sure to be the summer anthem for girls across Seoul. It's definitely Piggy's.

"So Hot" - Wonder Girls

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

The new Indiana Jones film premiered today in Korea. I've been a fan of the Indiana Jones films since my dad bought the VHS tapes at Burger King (Yeah, I know. Random.), so I definitely had to see Kingdom of the Crystal Skull in theaters. Perhaps Indiana Jones is just much more exciting on VHS, but I must regretfully report that the fourth installment was quite a disappointment.










Here's my synopsis (I don't know what you've read online, but I may reveal a few spoilers. Don't worry though. I won't reveal anything big):

The film starts off in Nevada, 1957. Soviet soldiers overtake a U.S. military base that has conveniently been evacuated for top secret weapons testing. The soldiers pop open the trunk of one of their vehicles to reveal Dr. Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford, duh) and his British cohort, George "Mac" McHale (played by an actor that I don't recognize). Both men are bound and bruised. The Soviet agents, led by a raven-haired Cate Blanchett, force Indy to track down a particular crate in a warehouse of thousands of crates. With the help of a mysteriously strong (yet selective) magnetic force, Indy manages to track down the crate. The crate reads, "Roswell" and contains a metal coffin. They open the coffin, and unfortunately, it's not Max Evans. Instead, within the coffin lies a mangled non-human corpse. Then, cue the theme song, and it's time for Indy's first big action sequence. Indy eventually manages to evade the grasps of those evil Commies thanks to a NUCLEAR BOMB!?!

Indy survives and is taken in for questioning by government agents in suits. Thanks to the big Commie Crackdown of the 1950s, Indy is suspected of being a Communist sympathizer and as a result, is asked to take an extended leave of absence from his teaching position. Now, this plot point I just described isn't very important, but they seemed to make a big deal out of it in the film, so I thought I'd mention it as well.

On his way out of town, Dr. Jones is stopped by a greaser on a motorcycle, named Mutt Williams (Shia LeBeouf; BTW, this kid is a total star.). Mutt tells Jones that Indy's dear friend, Professor Harold Oxley (John Hurt) is in trouble. Oxley, or as Mutt calls him "Ox," has been on the hunt for a mysterious crystal skull, but has gone missing -- but not before sending out a cryptic letter c/o of Mutt's mother. Indy looks at the cryptic message and quickly discerns that Ox went to Peru, possibly in search of El Dorado, the mythical city of gold.

Now, hold on to your hats. This is when the story gets a little more convoluted. Basically, Indy & his snappy new sidekick, Mutt trek through Latin America in search of Ox and his big secret find. Of course, you can't keep Cate Blanchett or the Commies down, so they are hot on Indy's trail. Essentially, all of these folks are after a creepy quartz skull that is supposed to be the key to all the knowledge in the world. Or something like that.

Cue the music, Mr. John Williams!

- End of synopsis -

As I mentioned at the start of the post, the movie is disappointing. Don't get me wrong. It was entertaining. The humor, action, and structural puzzles were all there. You should definitely see it. It's just that everything seemed over the top. Perhaps I'm waxing nostalgic, but the previous Indy films were fun, yet still maintained a sense of drama and historical resonance. Crystal Skull just seemed silly and rife with implausibilities (even more so than the previous Indy films).

I will probably continue to watch any film in the Indian Jones (especially if the rumors about Nathan Fillion are true), but I have to ask: Spielberg & Lucas, what were you thinking?

Here are my top 10 gripes about the film (in no particular order):
1) The font of the opening credits. I almost missed the title due to the lame typeface. What happened to the bold "Indiana Jones" font?

2) Harrison Ford is old! I know that it's been awhile since the last Indy film, but DANG! He's old. He did his thing during the action sequences, but I better not see him as the lead in Indy 5.

3) An uninteresting villain. Cate Blanchett was wasted on such a shallow villainess. First of all, what's the deal with a Stalin loyalist that's heavily into the paranormal. What is this? Hellboy? I thought that the villains in the first film were much more interesting. Remember the bald guy that pulled out people's hearts? Or, that conflicted blonde Nazi woman? They were dastardly, but interesting.

4) Mutt's hairdo. I understand that it's the 50s, and that lead characters need some sort of idiosyncrasies, but Mutt's excessive hair primping was distracting and cheesy.

5) Crystal skull? Enough said.

6) Creepy CG animal creatures. The gophers I could tolerate. The ants were kind of interesting. But, the monkeys? Oh, no you didn't. The monkeys were wrong. Like Jar Jar Binx wrong.

7) Three waterfalls? Can a boat-car of five people really survive three waterfalls?

8) The mythology. It was a little difficult to keep the facts straight. There were too many crystal skulls.

9) The big crystal skull scene. I don't want to reveal any more, but I'm sure you'll be rolling your eyes after the big scene. You sort of know where the film is heading, but when it finally gets there, you'll find yourself asking, "Really? This is it?"

10) The romantic ending. Gag me with a spoon. So out of character, Dr. Jones.

I will always be a fan of Indiana Jones. I'll just have to rank Crystal Skull as number four on my Indian Jones list.

PMS: Thumbs Up!

Korean men are brave. American men tend to lay low when it's their woman's time of the month. Korean men on the other hand, have boldly decided to embrace the most sensitive time of a woman's cycle, or as we call it back in the homeland, PMS.

The poster says it all. When it comes to aches, moodiness, cravings, headaches, fatigue, bloating, severe cramping, and not to mention, heightened aggression, Korean men say, "Thumbs Up. We're here for you, babe."
















I looked up this PMS, and it seems that PMS stands for "Pre-medical School," not "Premenstrual Syndrome." You'd think that a pre-med school would be familiar with premenstrual syndrome. On the other hand, according to a naver search, the Korean word for PMS appears to be 월경전 증후군. (Is that right, Heng 선생님?) That is quite different from "PMS."

Saju Cafe: Your Destiny is written in a tiny little book

While Ian Oppa was here, we took him to a saju cafe in Shinchon. Saju means "fortune," so as you can probably guess, a saju cafe is a place where you order up a beverage along with your fortune. Or, more accurately, you are forced to purchase a drink in order to get your fortune told.

The fortune tellers are specially trained to read (interpret?) your fortune from what looks like a really worn book of Chinese characters. You must provide your birth date and birth time (Some fortune tellers will ask for your birth information according to Korean time). Then, the fortune teller scribbles down a few illegible characters into her notebook. From these few scribblings, she can then tell you about your personality, health, love life, and finances.

Cyndi & I have been to a couple of saju cafes (usually with Bo Unnie). It's sort of become a hobby. Some people golf. We get our fortunes told. Some people take fortune telling very seriously. I've determined that I go because I'm narcissistic and enjoy hearing about myself. I also believe, or would like to believe, that my birth date and time have some effect on the person that I am.

That's definitely how I felt when we got our fortunes told at Hera, a saju cafe in Shinchon. In addition to a tarot card reading, there are several saju options at Hera. We all debated between the one-year fortune (10,000 won) and the whole-life fortune (20,000). Ian-Oppa went all-in and decided to go for the whole-life fortune. After we heard the eerie accuracy of Ian-Oppa's fortune, Cyndi & I immediately followed suit.

I won't go into the details of Ian Oppa's fortune, but I will say that almost everything she said rang true. She even spoke of a few issues that Ian-Oppa had never even discussed with us. We kept staring at her little notebook and thinking to ourselves, "You got all of that from a few Chinese characters?"

My fortune was also quite accurate and in line with what I've heard from other sajus. I think what particularly stood out about this particular saju is her manner of speaking. She spoke with an authority, and offered more details than I've received from prior readings. Most of what she said were things that I already knew about myself, but hearing her say what she said without any prompting from me was still pretty trippy.

With the success of Ian-Oppa's reading, we decided to take Piliksu to Hera earlier this week. I don't think his reading was as dead-on as Ian-Oppa's, but it wasn't far-fetched either. Piliksu gave me permission to post about his reading, so chingus back home, you can tell me what you think about his reading.

Piliksu's Saju:

• His face and fortune indicate that he is very lucky, particularly when it comes to money.
• He is very interested in making money.
• He gets bored with women very easily.
  
• He is sensitive.
  
• He's close to his mom. His mother brings him luck, so he should always be good to her.
• He also has "wife luck." He will likely marry a woman that is older than him. His future wife will also bring him luck (e.g., money).
  
• He needs a wife that will take care of him.
  
• His future wife will be Asian-American.
• He will have one son (The saju does not reveal if and how many daughters he will have).
  
• He should invest his money (particularly in real estate) or else money will keep going out. His wife may be a big factor in this out flow of cash.
• She could tell that he had started new job a year or to ago. His new job was a good move.
• However, Felix will not be at this company long term. When he's around 35 or so, he'll want to venture out on his own, and perhaps get involved with trade or technology.
  
• His body is weak, so he must exercise regularly.
  
• He should also avoid drinking, because he has a weak liver.
  
• Since he was born in the winter, his body seeks heat (i.e., alcohol). Thus, he can drink a lot.
• Rainy days make him want to drink.
  
• He should NOT live in China. If he lives in Asia, he needs to live in warm climates, such as Singapore or Malaysia.
  
• She advised him to avoid lending money to friends. This will be hard, since he is a generous guy.
  

I can't recall everything that the saju said, but she did keep emphasizing that there was a lot of money and luck in his fortune. So ladies, if you're in your early 30's, are caring, and of Asian descent, please holla at our friend, Piliksu (Don't worry. That's not his real name)

As for the rest of you, if you're interested in getting your fortune told, Hera is located behind the Hyundae Department store, heading towards Edae and Choi's Tacos. It's in a building or two after Mr. Pizza. It's in the same building as Lovely Bar(?). Unfortunately, the saju woman only speaks Korean. Don't forget to pick up a stamp card. You get a free tarot card reading after six saju sessions.